Q: How do you handle the stress associated with your children?
A: Oh, this is such a great question and is so very complex. This fits perfectly with the election stress because even though our family members can push the buttons all the way to the top it is all how you handle stress. I have used different techniques thru different phases of my kids life. I have two daughters that are great kids. One is in Israel playing professional volleyball for a year and the other is a plebe (freshman) at the US Naval Academy. BOTH of these scenarios were not even on my radar as possibilities until this past year. I could be consumed with worry for their safety, fret over their decisions, and try to change their minds but the bottom line was they are both grown adults and it was not my decision. Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have honest discussions about the risks and voiced my concerns. It was hard for me to wrap my brain around what it all meant but for the sake of self-preservation I had to come to peace with both of their choices. Prayer was helpful for me and I truly believe I had many different signs that gave me comfort. I had to respect their choices and even though I might have chosen a different path for them it was not my path to choose. I raised my girls to be forward independent thinkers and I had to laugh that this was the one thing they actually took to heart!
Many of you are dealing with far greater issues with your children or family members. Drugs, addictions, destructive behaviors of all types, mental illness, poor choices and I’m sure many more issues could be added to this list. As parents we care so very much for our children so its’ easy to get consumed with their choices. Unfortunately though, it is THEIR choice. We have to learn how to be there for our children without being sucked into the drama spiral and this is flat out hard! I think the book called Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is a great place to start. Find a counselor that can help you see things clearly so you don’t become an enabler.
Let go of any guilt that you are carrying – the would haves, should haves, could haves that are spinning around in your brain. Let go of the past and work on rewriting a new story. Envision what kind of life you would like to see your child have. Stay away from the negative statements like “one without drugs” but focus on high energy visions. For example, I see my child having a wonderful job that they love, a loving spouse and a great relationship with their parents. Even when their life is crashing down by raising your vibrational energy toward them you are sending them positive messages that might just help them manifest that very vision. There is no easy answer and the actions that are required are different in every scenario. At the end of the day give yourself GRACE and tell yourself that you are a caring parent. Notice I didn’t say perfect parent because nobody fits that so don’t set yourself trying to compare yourself to others. You are a CARING parent and today that is enough.